


Visit from the Past

by JayBarou



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Death discussion, M/M, Minor Character Death, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 03:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16885032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayBarou/pseuds/JayBarou
Summary: Loki remembers one of his many bitter stories in the middle of the night.





	Visit from the Past

Tony has been waiting patiently. He knew Loki had issues on top of issues, and he only told Tony about them once every blue moon. Maybe Loki couldn’t stand all the pain at the same time, maybe he knew Tony couldn’t handle too much.

But tonight was one of those nights where something prompted Loki to get out of the bed making Tony miss him instantly from between his arms. Maybe it was the storm, because Loki stood before the glass panels watching the drops pour down.

Maybe this was about Thor, maybe Loki wanted to be alone. Tony didn’t move from the bed, but he sat up with enough noise to let Loki know that he was there waiting if needed.

“Fenrir is not the only cub I had,” Loki said aloud.

“Wasn’t he?”

“No.”

Loki turned to see his lover and let himself be seen.

“Thechnically, no.”

Tony got up and padded next to Loki. Sometimes touching wasn’t the right approach.

“Nari and Vali, they were shapeshifters.”

“This is not a bedtime story, is it? I don’t like it. Can’t we change channels?”

It was fortunate that Loki spoke Stark fluently by now and took it as the “go on, I’m listening despite how bad I feel it is going to be”. Loki only smiled, got closer to Tony, letting the human embrace him and feeling somewhat safer from his memories.

Tony knew tonight was going to be a bad night. It always was when the issue was related to Loki’s children. It would be a bad night for both of them. Tony had started to empathise with the issue of children when the feeling turned familiar. Tony felt deeply about his bots, but his AIs were… Code of his mind.

“They paid a price they shouldn’t have paid.”

Tony let his head rest on Loki’s shoulder.

“I was hurt, drunk and too much of myself. A bad version of myself that you never knew. I was right, of course, but I would go back and shut up if only they would have…”

“They hurt your children to hurt you… Again.” Tony tried not to sound judgmental, but he wasn’t sure he succeeded.

“Yes. It was part of it. They had been trying to prove my children were monsters from the very beginning, but my insults spured them to try harder.”

Tony could see two little Lokis being bullied by grown Aesir who should know better. It was an old tale, just as cruel as the first time it was ever told. But something in Loki’s words awoke Tony’s empathy again, but surprisingly enough, it wasn’t Jarvis who came to his mind.

“Vali was gifted, and that was what ultimately doomed him. Aesir warriors pushed him until he turned into a big wolf. Too soon, way too soon and unguided. His mind in a wolf body was too confused, and it turned to it’s most simplistic functions. He was in a hostile environment, surrounded by enemies, and for months the only thing he had known was the Aesir hate, their lies, their hate they spewed about his father and mother. Everyone said he was a monster. And his mother and I were not enough in his mind to tether his sanity with love. He turned fereal.” Loki sighed deeply.

Tony thought of Ultron.

“He turned against his attackers, he thought everyone was a monster, an enemy, like nothing deserved to live… And he turned against his brother. His guts… He… It was used to bind me.”

Tony thought of how he and Bruce had designed Ultron to be Jarvis’ little brother and a protector of the human kind. He thought of how much hope he had poured into it, how he was half-made when he was turned on and corrupted. He was too powerful, too young and he had access to a lot of information without a frame of reference.

And the first thing he did was to destroy Jarvis.

Tony hugged Loki harder. Maybe it was narcissistic to think about his own problems when listening to another’s, but there was no stopping them.

“They hunt Vali down like a wild beast, claiming he was the monster they had all know him to be.” Loki was looking far away. “He was executed. And in death he turned back, and he was such a small, boy, Tony. He looked so fragile… He was so small that he usually hid in one of the many palace big pots and it would take ages to find him.

Loki hid his face in a hug, choking on a burst of sobbing laugh. While Tony clinged to him trying to be reassuring.

"Asgard must pay, Loki.”

“They will, but that won’t bring my boys back.” Loki held Tony tighter. “After all this time, it doesn’t hurt the same way. And sometimes I wonder if this is better. My surviving children have faced a life of pain and discrimination and I have not been able to change the world to accept them”.

“I know it is not your point, but I would have loved meeting them. And they would have had a place here, same as your other children”.

Tony couldn’t guess Loki’s face, since he was still hiding it, but his sobs doubled.

“I don’t know if they would have loved anything, Tony. They were so small. I will never know if they’d have grown into kind people or horrible criminals.”

“I understand, Loki. I do. Parents should never outlive their children.”

Loki broke their hug to dry his eyes.

“I got over it some time ago. As much as I’ll ever be able to, at least.”

Loki realized in the dim light that those were tears in Tony’s eyes.

“What…?”

“Not tonight. I can’t. Do you want to come to bed and tell me more about them?” Tony seemed to be begging to leave whatever this was alone for now. “Or would you prefer a distraction?”

Loki didn’t have the energy to push his lover to explain. He let Tony guide him to bed and sooth them both for now with sweet words and careful carelessness in what they said.

They had all the time in the world to help to heal each other.


End file.
